AHHHHHHHH!

There is a big, giant wasp in my garage. Every fifteen minutes I open the door to let him out but he keeps coming back. I just wish he would go away so I can do my laundry.

I also wish my sister would come by to get her wedding present since I won't be able to deliver it until next week. I can't wait to give it to her!

It's my sisters bday!

In just a few hours, my beloved sister turns 30ish. ''''''''''''''''''''''''' All those apostrophes (or atrocities as I refer to them) are in her honor. I hate using those devil signs.

Anyways, Joolie is a very nice person who googles doctors with me and always gives me beer when I visit her.

I wish her one of the best b-days ever! I dont mind dashes or hyphens.

I am blogging in the dark on a laptop.

I'm All-American!

The other night, I had the opportunity to go to a baseball game. One of my vendors from work offered us his company's suite filled with food and beer. I must say a good time was had by all. It was just sixty degrees, the game was good, and the crowd got to witness a player from the opposing team get ejected by demonstratively arguing a call. Mind you I was far away, but could see the F-word more than any other coming from his mouth. We cheered him on and then laughed at his walk of shame to the clubhouse.

The funniest part of the evening came when the game was over. On certain evenings the team sells baseballs for $1 marked with a number. When the game is over, those who bought a baseball can stand in the front row and try to throw the ball into a large trash can placed at second base. If you get it in you split $1000 with whomever happens to make it also. All the money goes to charity. My friends and I could not pass up the opportunity.

I played softball for about 10 years. My favorite position was third base because I had an incredible knack for throwing out runners at first. I did not think I would make the trash can, but I certainly thought I would make it further than this:

Yes, the ball circled is mine. By my calculations only three other people threw worse than me (and there were an incredible number of children there for a school night). As soon as the ball left my hands I knew it was a crappy throw, so I put my head down and ran into the crowd so no one could recognize me. My friends laughed at me and then we left. It was a great night.

Adventures in Lawnmowing

When I was twelve or so, my dad decided he could get us to mow the lawn by offering $20 for the service. My sister took him up a couple of times and I was jealous of all the extra money she had. I decided it was my turn. My dad gave me a quick tutorial and I was on my way. I could barely handle the machine. Half way through the job, my dad's nerves could no longer take it so he paid me $10 and sent me pouting. I have not touched a lawnmower since. In fact, until today I could not even work one.

Fast forward 18 years...

Before Jeremy left I realized that I would eventually need someone to mow my lawn. Luckily, I did a favor for a friend who agreed to mow my lawn once in return. Unluckily, I had to cash in said favor, voiding the chore.

I woke up this morning with the realization that my poor lawn could not go one more day without being mowed so I went to my work (today is my day off) and tried to bribe some of my employees $20 to come over and help me out. Nobody was available. It was at that point I realized I had to grow a pair and do it myself. This morning:

I run a restaurant. Surely I can work a lawnmower, right? Well, I am a bit timid so I called everyone I know to ask their advice on how to work one. I couldn't tell which way was forward and how to put the gas in. Don't even get me started on priming the engine! It took about fifteen tries to get this puppy started (I hid downhill so no passers-by could laugh at my efforts). Once I heard the roar of the engine, I felt powerful in a feminist "anything you can do I can do better," sort of way. End result:
Sadly, I am way more proud of myself than anyone should be.Mowing the lawn is something that elementary kids do (Jeremy's words, not mine). I lead such a charmed life.

Tulips!

Jeremy is a very nice fellow, although he makes fun of blogging quite often. He sent me tulips at work to remind me of our wonderful trip to DC. What a nice boy!

Blogs are lame...