I am very word sensitive. There are certain made-up words that said properly, send me into a white-hot rage. Let's explore:
Sippie cup and ouchless are timeless as I have not enjoyed these words for years now. A sippie cup is the transition from a bottle to a normal cup. It's a wonderful invention from what those with children have told me, but made totally worthless by its name. Ouchless? Really? This term usually refers to hair ties and band-aids. Are people so afraid of the pain these products cause that they wouldn't consider buying them with out the ouch-free promise? UGH!
Taco Bell has coined one of my newest word-nemeses..."melty", as in a delicious, melty taco. You may have noticed that this word is spreading like wildfire. Most fast food commercials now use it to describe their menu items as well. To me, it makes the food sound gross. Kind of like they are using government cheese to produce such melt. I guess we can be thankful that gooey is off the table.
I also have a budding hatred of the term "lol". Although not used as a word per say, it is rampant and in my opinion, often unused. How often does one really crack a joke while texting? And if said person does crack a joke, does he/she lack so much comedic confidence that it is necessary to say "lol"?
I always thought that I stood alone in the word hatred category. I have a friend who hates the word "moist" so much that she refuses to say it. We once went to eat BBQ and she made me order her extra-moist brisket for her. LOL!!!!
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
Oh, the things I saw yesterday...
Just a head's up...this blog will be way less interesting than the blog I would have posted the day someone brought a baby kangaroo into the restaurant. I could pretend I was there but that story is so far-fetched that my sister made me show her photographic proof of the incident before she would concede its actuality. So instead, feast your eyes on these tasty stories:
After a long day at work yesterday afternoon, I was off with a friend to have a beer and eat some food. My restaurant is the anchor of a small strip center, through which we must walk to get to the employee area. This may not be news to you, but now a days most strip centers have nail salons, many of which do not feature english-speaking technicians. My restaurant's location is no different. As we walked by the salon, the owner beckoned us over and asked for our help. I do always fashion myself quite the hero, so even thirsty and hungry, we stopped to see if we could be of service. What we found inside was horrifying. A lady was locked in the bathroom--the door had broken. This was no door you would find at your home, it was a commercial door with no ability to mess with the lock from the outside. The nail ladies were frantically trying to free her with a small paperclip and perhaps even a prayer. Once she heard our voices, she started pleading with us to call the fire department. Her voice was a little panicky, so there is no telling how long she had been stuck inside. Once we realized we would be of no use to these people, we advised calling 3-1-1 and went on our merry way. Thirty minutes later the fire department showed up and had to use a sledge hammer to get the door open. I know it is not good karma, but I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants. I am quite lucky that I didn't as the bathroom in the salon was occupied.
Since this is a long post, I will skim over the next story. I saw a grown man eschew the bathroom in favor of washing his hands by spraying windex on them. That one is new to me and I couldn't quite get it.
After a long day at work yesterday afternoon, I was off with a friend to have a beer and eat some food. My restaurant is the anchor of a small strip center, through which we must walk to get to the employee area. This may not be news to you, but now a days most strip centers have nail salons, many of which do not feature english-speaking technicians. My restaurant's location is no different. As we walked by the salon, the owner beckoned us over and asked for our help. I do always fashion myself quite the hero, so even thirsty and hungry, we stopped to see if we could be of service. What we found inside was horrifying. A lady was locked in the bathroom--the door had broken. This was no door you would find at your home, it was a commercial door with no ability to mess with the lock from the outside. The nail ladies were frantically trying to free her with a small paperclip and perhaps even a prayer. Once she heard our voices, she started pleading with us to call the fire department. Her voice was a little panicky, so there is no telling how long she had been stuck inside. Once we realized we would be of no use to these people, we advised calling 3-1-1 and went on our merry way. Thirty minutes later the fire department showed up and had to use a sledge hammer to get the door open. I know it is not good karma, but I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants. I am quite lucky that I didn't as the bathroom in the salon was occupied.
Since this is a long post, I will skim over the next story. I saw a grown man eschew the bathroom in favor of washing his hands by spraying windex on them. That one is new to me and I couldn't quite get it.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Dry me a river
Yesterday, I finally got the much anticipated washer and dryer. They are beautiful and currently the most valuable items I own. As soon as the delivery dude left I started attacking my laundry. With our old pair, it would take a long time to dry clothes. It once took me 8 hours for 3 loads, so I was pretty excited to compare the dry time. About midway through the very first load I opened the dryer to gauge progress and noticed that it smelled quite pepperminty in there. I then noticed what looked like tread marks on the dryer. Backtrack for a minute...remember when I washed my ipod? I am not so much with the laundry.
What I found in my dryer was GUM!!!!!! So basically I spent hundreds of dollars on a piece of equipment that will never not have gum stuck in it. From what I can gather, an unopened piece made it past my vigilant pocket emptying process. I wanted to cry. I still do.
On the bright side, that load of laundry smells delicious.
What I found in my dryer was GUM!!!!!! So basically I spent hundreds of dollars on a piece of equipment that will never not have gum stuck in it. From what I can gather, an unopened piece made it past my vigilant pocket emptying process. I wanted to cry. I still do.
On the bright side, that load of laundry smells delicious.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Bert's Half Marathon...The Sequel
As you probably know, I ran the Austin 1/2 marathon on Sunday, my second this year. The difference between the two is night and day. During #1 (Phoenix), I thought I was going to die and therefore not cross the finish line. #2 was true to the dying part but I always knew I would and could do it. #1 was completely flat and #2 never had a flat moment. The list of differences goes on and on. I choose to not bore you with it.
I will tell you the main difference between Phoenix and Austin: the crowd. When I ran in Phoenix, there was rarely ever a time some spectator was not yelling at you to "Go! You can do it!" Sometimes even in different languages. I had my name on my shirt and people would call me out individually. It was amusing to see those people and it really helped the time pass faster. I kept thinking that if a perfect stranger says I can do it, then I might be able to. In Austin, however, it was so quiet along the race course, I could hear the sole of my shoe squeak. Except for the finish line (which was way better in Austin), there was rarely a time that strangers were yelling at you. At the start line, the runners were actually having to ask the crowd to yell for them. At times, I took matters into my own hands. "Let's hear it for mile 7," I would say. My friends would respond, "Woo Hoo. Arriba!" The other runners would respond with a glare. If they were meaner people, they probably would have told me to shut the F*%# up. Oh well.
The aftermath of #2 is way worse. I am sore from head to toe. Literally, my temples hurt. Walking down stairs is laborious and bending down not yet an option. But it was fun and worth it. I will put the Austin marathon in my heart along with all my other treasured memories. Who is up for a half marathon in April?
I will tell you the main difference between Phoenix and Austin: the crowd. When I ran in Phoenix, there was rarely ever a time some spectator was not yelling at you to "Go! You can do it!" Sometimes even in different languages. I had my name on my shirt and people would call me out individually. It was amusing to see those people and it really helped the time pass faster. I kept thinking that if a perfect stranger says I can do it, then I might be able to. In Austin, however, it was so quiet along the race course, I could hear the sole of my shoe squeak. Except for the finish line (which was way better in Austin), there was rarely a time that strangers were yelling at you. At the start line, the runners were actually having to ask the crowd to yell for them. At times, I took matters into my own hands. "Let's hear it for mile 7," I would say. My friends would respond, "Woo Hoo. Arriba!" The other runners would respond with a glare. If they were meaner people, they probably would have told me to shut the F*%# up. Oh well.
The aftermath of #2 is way worse. I am sore from head to toe. Literally, my temples hurt. Walking down stairs is laborious and bending down not yet an option. But it was fun and worth it. I will put the Austin marathon in my heart along with all my other treasured memories. Who is up for a half marathon in April?
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Update
This is the first Saturday since August that I have not had to get up early. It's been nice, but I must find a way to fill my mornings now. No running? What is a girl to do?
As you may remember, I went last Saturday to buy a washer/dryer. It was kind of an urgent situation as my current washer was on its last leg. Fortunately, I found a nice new pair. Unfortunately, my washer broke that same day and I was forced to visit the laundromat this week--my new ones don't come in until Thursday. What is it about laundromats? Do they offer a discount if you bring screaming children? If the answer is yes, do you have a screaming child I can borrow? I did witness a laundromat love connection: A single lady and single dude came in with their daughters who instantly became friends. They seemed to be into each other. When it was time for the dude to leave, the lady rushed over and used a playdate as a ploy to get the dude's digits. As far as I can tell, they are together this morning, sipping coffee and daydreaming about their future life together--they are thinking to themselves that their new family would be perfect given their daughters became such quick friends. Happy Valentine's to them and Mazel Tov!
So looking forward to this weekend: I have an inspirational lunch to attend, a race number to retrieve, and on Sunday, 13.1 miles to run. I wish chocolate candies housed in red hearts and roses to everyone (not me though, I hate Valentine's day)!
As you may remember, I went last Saturday to buy a washer/dryer. It was kind of an urgent situation as my current washer was on its last leg. Fortunately, I found a nice new pair. Unfortunately, my washer broke that same day and I was forced to visit the laundromat this week--my new ones don't come in until Thursday. What is it about laundromats? Do they offer a discount if you bring screaming children? If the answer is yes, do you have a screaming child I can borrow? I did witness a laundromat love connection: A single lady and single dude came in with their daughters who instantly became friends. They seemed to be into each other. When it was time for the dude to leave, the lady rushed over and used a playdate as a ploy to get the dude's digits. As far as I can tell, they are together this morning, sipping coffee and daydreaming about their future life together--they are thinking to themselves that their new family would be perfect given their daughters became such quick friends. Happy Valentine's to them and Mazel Tov!
So looking forward to this weekend: I have an inspirational lunch to attend, a race number to retrieve, and on Sunday, 13.1 miles to run. I wish chocolate candies housed in red hearts and roses to everyone (not me though, I hate Valentine's day)!
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Saturday, in the Park....
Today marked the last Saturday morning run for a while, at least until I join a running group. It was kind of sad. What's always funny about the last of anything is how many people show up for it. Usually Saturday mornings only host about 20 people. This morning, however, there were people whom I had never seen before. I was all like, What? You're on my team? Where the hell have you been? Not really, I don't care that much. I'm just ready for my 1/2 marathon next Sunday.
I do have quite a Saturday to face: I found my freshman year roommate (or at least 1/2 my freshman year. She got kicked out of the dorm a la Michael Phelps) through Facebook. She lives in Ecuador and just happened to land in Austin the day we became "friends." We will lunch along with her husband (Jeremy refuses to go). Then, I will buy a washer and dryer and hang out with my sister, not necessarily in that order. It's possible I will multi-task and do them at the same time. You see, I have not seen my sister in over a month, yet she lives three miles from me and if I don't buy a washer soon I will probably run out of clean laundry. I then plan to go to bed early as I am already POOPED and it is not yet 10am.
I hope your Saturday is as great as I am hoping mine to be!
I do have quite a Saturday to face: I found my freshman year roommate (or at least 1/2 my freshman year. She got kicked out of the dorm a la Michael Phelps) through Facebook. She lives in Ecuador and just happened to land in Austin the day we became "friends." We will lunch along with her husband (Jeremy refuses to go). Then, I will buy a washer and dryer and hang out with my sister, not necessarily in that order. It's possible I will multi-task and do them at the same time. You see, I have not seen my sister in over a month, yet she lives three miles from me and if I don't buy a washer soon I will probably run out of clean laundry. I then plan to go to bed early as I am already POOPED and it is not yet 10am.
I hope your Saturday is as great as I am hoping mine to be!
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
My Day
Today I had to run errands for work. Stupid, boring errands. One of my trips included a stop at the Home Depot plumbing section. If you know anything about me, you know that I am always less than impressed by Home Depot's "customer service." It has been my experience that once you can actually find someone in an orange apron, nine times out of ten they have no freakin' clue what they are talking about.
This time I had a plan...I was equipped with the proper lingo and a loose idea of what I needed. Hell, I even had measurements and past experiences with which to reference. I planned on leaving Home Depot victorious and maybe a little more learned about the nuts and bolts (or rather PVC pipes and elbows) about plumbing.
Sadly, I ran into the mother of all misogynists. He kindly smirked at me while talking and then sent me to a product so stupid it made my head want to explode. I patiently explained again what I needed and why his suggestion would not work--I mean, was he even listening to me--and he sent me on my way telling me he could not help. SAY WHAT?
I ended my visit in the electronics area and started talking to the dude there. He was quite helpful and recommended a plumbing supply shop just across the way that would have more know-how on how to fix my problem. I got the feeling he secretly agreed with my anti-Home Depot sentiment but that he really needed to pay the bills.
So, I am off tomorrow to once again experience what it was to be a woman in the 1960's. Thanks to all you feminists who have allowed me equal footing in most places today!
This time I had a plan...I was equipped with the proper lingo and a loose idea of what I needed. Hell, I even had measurements and past experiences with which to reference. I planned on leaving Home Depot victorious and maybe a little more learned about the nuts and bolts (or rather PVC pipes and elbows) about plumbing.
Sadly, I ran into the mother of all misogynists. He kindly smirked at me while talking and then sent me to a product so stupid it made my head want to explode. I patiently explained again what I needed and why his suggestion would not work--I mean, was he even listening to me--and he sent me on my way telling me he could not help. SAY WHAT?
I ended my visit in the electronics area and started talking to the dude there. He was quite helpful and recommended a plumbing supply shop just across the way that would have more know-how on how to fix my problem. I got the feeling he secretly agreed with my anti-Home Depot sentiment but that he really needed to pay the bills.
So, I am off tomorrow to once again experience what it was to be a woman in the 1960's. Thanks to all you feminists who have allowed me equal footing in most places today!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)