Christmas Hangover

After all my denial that the holiday season was here once again, Christmas is now over. Every year I complain that holiday music seeps into our lives way too early, I laugh at those getting an early start, and save my shopping for the very last minute. The result is on December 26th, I rue that I did not savor the season enough.

This is the first year that I had money left over (in fact I even got paid today). This is also the first year the holiday activities forced me into a mini-coma. I was so exhausted from the past week of fitting in parties, work, shopping and cooking that I fell asleep last night at 7:30 and did not get up until 9 this morning. I felt great until I walked downstairs and saw my living room looking like Christmas threw up on it. So now I must clean. I hope you are having a great holiday week so far!

My weekend in Plano so far...

...has been delightful! It started Friday evening with the extended side of the family. Look here for explanation.

Last night, I attended the 15th annual gift exchange for all the girls that I have known for 25 years now. They're catty and loud and nice and great fun to be around. Our gift exchange is one where you can steal people's presents. It gets a little heated and everyone screams at eachother. The hot items are house wares for those who live in surburbia. I got a gift certificate to Sephora.

I have been unable to attend this party in a few years, so it was interesting to see how the group dynamic has changed. There was a lot of baby talk, which I don't understand. Everyone looks good and has calmed down quite a bit, which fit in more with my personality.

Now, I have to drive back. Boo.

Restaurant Stories...

Those of you who follow my blog or my life in general have been privy to interesting customer stories. It's quite amazing the people and situations I have faced--every time I am in such a situation, I feel that it will never get weirder/grosser/meaner than that instance. Here are some stories of a certain group. It does involve a little background, so be patient with me...

I work in one of the more affluent areas in Austin. As such, the panhandlers are of special breed. There are 3 or 4 (depending on the season) that hold down the corner. There is a papa bear, and a blind bear (he doesn't come around very often) and two faux military cubs, one of whom's barf I had to clean up. Papa bear is pretty cool. He has Parkinson's and his disability barely pays his rent. You can always count on him for a kind word or extremely raunchy joke. The others I could punch in the face. Would you like to know what happens after shots of tequila and many beers? Neither did I.

A few months ago, a customer approaches me to inform me the men's room "needs a little attention." I sent a waiter in there to see what the problem was. He immediately came back with a horrible look on his face and informed me someone had vomited over the entire bathroom. That's right, pizza! How he got pizza is beyond me... Anyways, that evening I found no less than three piles across the restaurant of regurgitated pizza I had to make disappear. Somehow, now he has become the responsible one.

Younger cubbie bear likes to make the waiters do extra work and then not tip. Well, actually, that is not true. His favorite phase is, "Here is my tip for you: don't walk in a dark alley without a knife. Har. Har. Har."

So, I guess in one's life you can expect to clean throw up from now to then, but this dude did something that made my jaw drop. He was very upset that we were not allowing him to drink anymore. So instead of leaving, he took his empty glass to his nose and blew out as much snot as his body weight. Trust me when I say you would be surprised by how much snot a human body is capable of putting into a pint glass. He then put the glass on the bar as if nothing ever happened. Seriously?

I have no cute way to wrap up this story. I only wish this dude a job and mental stability. And that he will not visit my establishment until both those things grace his life.

Are you curious?

My sister's blog is always so interesting. She has the amazing ability to turn a mundane activity into an enthralling blog post that leaves you wondering what will go on in her life on the next day.

When certain things happen to me, a lightbulb goes off and I say to myself, "that is very blogworthy. I shall blog about it then." So when Joolie and I were at Target the other night and something very interesting happened, I called "Blog!"

So my sister and I were at Target on Saturday shopping for Christmas tree decor. She needed a tree skirt for her very first real tree. It was not a second after we decided all the tree skirts
were trash that the power went out. It got so dark that people screamed. I immediately grabbed for my sister and grappled for my cell phone (one of my favorite flashlights). The lights were out for less than 30 seconds before the back up generator kicked in. By the way, Targets have a back up generator for power outages. We continued to shop at 25% power and walked with our purchases in no more time than would usually take. Target people walked around the aisles pretending to assist us in finding what we needed. We were on to them, they were making sure we were not thieving.

What was most surprising about the situation is when we left the store a gentleman stood outside and offered us escort to our car. The parking lot was pretty dark.

I told my friend this story. I highlighted the near seamless transition from full power to generated. He said that once, while shopping at Walmart, a freak storm blew in and the power went out. All patrons of the Walmart were immediately sent out in the elements with not so much as a "Have a nice day," or "Come back when it is not raining." The doors were locked behind them and it closed for a few hours. I guess that is what people get for shopping at Walmart. Score one for Target!

I think my sister would be upset with me if I didn't mention that in the darkness we purchased the wrong lights and had to return 15 minutes later for more. We were a little sad to find the Target up and running like nothing ever happened. The end.

What a week!

Not very much going on here....

It snowed on Tuesday. For the first time in my life I decided to not see it. I was already in bed with the covers to my chin before I heard on the news of a wintry mix. I was too warm and comfortable to see it. Oh well.

Other than that, it has been work and run and nothing else.

I'm going to lunch with my sister today, and maybe some Christmas shopping, but my legs hurt from my run this morning, so I can't make that promise.

Have a good weekend!

Brrrt

Bert ran 11 miles today! I rarely stopped to run. I feel pretty good about myself, but my knees are quite upset with me. My race is only 2.1 miles more than my run this morning, so I am confident I will do it and kick some butt!

Anyways, there are only 42 days until my race. That seems like a long time, but not with how fast this whole experience has passed me by. If you are interested in seeing my fundraising progress, please go here.

After my run, my dear Jeremy took me to a breakfast deserving of a truck driver. Then, it was naptime!

Haven't done much since....

Jeremy is hanging Christmas lights and I am going to quit rambling.

i Can't Believe i Just Did This...

Yesterday, I bought a new running jacket. It is so soft and comfortable. What makes it so special and cool is a secret inner pocket for one's ipod. It even has a little loop on the collar so you can run your earphones and not worry about cord interference. They make things so technology convenient these days.

I first sported this jacket last night at my team run. We run on a track and quite fast, so high-beat music is a good aid. After the run, we do core exercises and listening to music would be rude to the coaches. So, I put my ipod in that cool little pocket.

I just finished a load of white clothes this evening. As I was putting my clothes in the dryer, I noticed something tangled in my socks. Can you guess what it was?

That's right, folks, my ipod! I am not holding out hope that it is salvagable, my experience with technology has taught me that electronics do not like a whole bunch of water. I am very sad because I have become quite attached to that little bugger. It is perfect, and I am stupid sometimes....

Hello, my name is spaz!

The weekend is going well. Turkey was delicious--Jeremy's mother heard that if you roast a turkey upside down all the juices run to the breast. She was correct, my friends, and it was probably the best Thanksgiving dinner I have ever had.

The game went in our favor. The stadium is big. The beers were cold. etc, etc.

The one difference about this weekend is that I cannot shut up. I have had so much energy lately that I seriously have not stopped talking. The couple that came in town from Orlando has the gift of gab and they could not get one word in edgewise. It's pretty remarkable, but even more so that Jeremy has not killed me yet. We have been in the car for a combined 7 hours and I have kept my life thus far.

Just wish us luck tomorrow on the way home. Hopefully you will hear from me again on Monday.

This is how I (casse)roll

As you may be aware, Thursday is Thanksgiving. I have two signature dishes for the day of thanks...corn casserole and pecan pie (mine is special because it lacks corn syrup, which is terrible for one's digestive system). So this evening I baked the two while simultaneously mopping my kitchen floor.

This will be my last post for the week. I have a busy one! Tomorrow, I work at 6am (it's way past my bedtime), then I drive to San Antonio. Tomorrow night, we are having a birthday dinner for both Jeremy and his mother whose birthdays fall 4 days apart.

Thursday morning I wake up early to run the San Antonio Turkey Trot, go back to help cook lunch, eat lunch, drive back to Austin, tailgate, attend the UT football game, then go have beers with our friends in town from Orlando. I am tired just thinking of all this activity.

Then on Friday, we drive to Dallas for my step-cousin's Bat Mitzvah. There are events from dinner Friday to brunch Sunday. We then drive back to Austin because I have to work Sunday night.

I hope you and yours have a great holiday. Don't eat too much and give thanks to the wonderful things in your life.

Off Topic

As some of you may know, Jeremy and I (emphasis on the I part) agreed to start a blog that allowed us to air our pet peeves of the world. We were becoming tired of complaining to one another and wanted a new audience. Thus, Meatbert was born!

The reality of our blog is that I have taken it over with my jog blogs and goofy stories. Jeremy actually only checks it every 3 weeks. He apparently is not a big fan. Maybe he just doesn't have much to complain about lately....but let's get real.

I have noticed something that has been bugging the daylights out of me. Here is the deal--if you own a big, giant, gas guzzling car, LEARN TO DRIVE IT!

I first noticed this phenomenon last week at Target. I was walking back to my car with the cart when I encountered a brand new Lincoln Navigator that had to make a six point turn to get out of the spot. This bugged me for several reasons...1. My Target just opened in October and the parking lot was designed for all the suburbanites with larger cars that live in my neighborhood. By this I mean the spaces are roomy with large aisles for one's reversing pleasure. 2. It is my understanding that newer, bigger SUVs are designed to drive like a car, with good turning radii and brake ability. 3. I had to stop and wait several minutes for the six point turn. Really, it was amazing that the driver didn't know to turn the steering wheel when backing up. 4. The Lincoln Navigator's new ad campaign boasts spaceship like abilities. Let's get real. I could have pushed that SUV out of that spot with the emergency brake on faster than that douche bag drove out of it.

Ever since that day, I have noticed this kind of behavior all over the city. I drive a small car that I love and I refuse to be bullied by a soccer mom trying to drive her big car while simultaneously talking on her cell phone and feeding her children (who are probably spoiled brats).

So, for those of you out there who fit my description, learn to drive!

10 Milestones

This morning, I ran 10! miles. I feel pretty accomplished because a few months ago I never would have thought I could do it. I also was proud that I ran most of the mileage, only walking during the big hills on my route.

Those experienced in the running world tell you to take an ice bath after a long run. It constricts your blood vessels, preventing swelling. You are supposed to fill your bathtub 1/4 full, add 20 lbs of ice, then marinate in the chilliness like a shrimp cocktail for 10-15 minutes. My coaches personally swear by this method and tell you to take one each time you see them. This is how it goes:

Coach: How was your run today?
Runner: Great/Not so great (depending on the day)
Coach: Don't forget to take an ice bath!

The thought of cold water always makes me crazy. I don't like to swim in sub 80 degree water. But today I was feeling a little achy and I was already cold, so I decided to give it a go.

OMG!!!!! The minute I put a toe in the water, I knew how un-fun it was going to be. I put on 4 layers of shirts, topped with a sweatshirt hoodie and rocked myself back and forth. There was a point of time (about minute 4) that my legs were shaking so badly I had to hold them down. Admittedly, the 10 minutes went by faster than I imagined they would. The worst part is that I can't tell whether or not it worked. Surely it must have, but my legs are uber sore and my feet have been cold ever since.

So, next time you physically exert yourself, try it. It's at least interesting to empathize with those suffering from hypothermia.

My sister....

.....is lots of fun but sometimes sits on my couch, gorges a protein bar, and tells me to dust my lights. We are trying to garner energy to shop, so wish us luck.

Aint nothin' gonna break my stride....

.....I'm running and I can't stop now, oh no, I got to keep a movin'.

I can't remember who sings that song or any other lyrics that comprise it, but that's what I sang in my head on Saturday while running.

That's right, my friends, I'm back! My foot still aches, but no longer with crippling pain. It was nice to be back in the world of runners, especially on a brisk morning. I was a little nervous, but I did quite well. I just have to remember to take it easy, as I truly feel my injury is the result of over-training. I'll have to cut back to 3 or 4 days a week instead of the 5 I was sustaining.

Anyways, last week was jam-packed with fun. Jeremy turned 27 for the umpteenth time. Happy Birthday, Meat! We got a new refrigerator after weeks and weeks of urgent emails to our property manager. The compressor was making horrible sounds and we were sure all the groceries we got last week would spoil. They have in a way because I won't eat them--I have a food handler's certification and I cannot be certain those items were held at proper temperatures for a sustained period of time. Improper food handling is kind of my phobia. In order to get my certification, I took a course that spent 3 hours describing the diseases you can contract from food. That course caused me to have nightmares that I was eating raw ground beef for almost a year.

My room organization is going slowly but surely. I bought another dresser. Jeremy and I finally agreed on a couch to purchase, and it's lovely. The only problem is that our living room is three times longer than it is wide, so the couch is going to swallow it whole. But it's lovely.

The weather is beautiful but causing both Meat and Bert problems. Meat's of the perpetual runny nose variety and Bert's of the achy sinuses. It's nothing a little Claritin and netti-pot can't cure.

So, life is good here. I hope you are doing just as well.

I've Been Had!

So I am out shopping today for my massive room organization (oh, did I mention I am massively organizing my room?) in a shopping center with tons of stores that deserve my patronage. After stop 3 of 4, two big ladies practically accost me in the parking lot rambling on and on and on about the fact they are out of gas, no one will help them, it's about to rain, blah, blah, blah. They yelled in my ear and everything. Now, I rarely fall for this kind of transparant BS, but while accosted I was searching my purse for keys and 2 dollar bills happened to be at the top of my purse--my usual response is to fib and say that I don't have any cash. Really, who carries cash anymore? I feared an ass-kicking so those ladies got my money. Bitches!

That's not the worst part...

I feared they may ask me for a ride to the gas station (they pointed to a sad looking car across the parking lot) so I walked the 1/4 mile to the next stop, The Container Store. Usually the walk would not bother me, but my foot is still in a considerable amount of pain, and as the ladies pointed out, it was about to rain.

Long story less long, I dragged my bulky purchases back from The Container Store only to find an empty spot where the alleged sad, gasless car used to reside. It would have been impossible for those ladies to get gas in the 20 minutes it took me return to my vehicle, even if someone took them to a gas station.

My guess is they had to scarf down some Taco Cabana (which happens to be in this shopping Mecca as well). At least I didn't get rained on.

New Here!

It has come to my attention that my blog is boring. I often feel pressure to blog, even when I am uninspired. The result is a bunch of poorly written posts that go nowhere.

My solution, you ask...

Hangman! Check it out to the right. But, be careful, it is kind of hard, or at least the word I got. Cavitation. Never heard of it, so I killed the poor cartoon bastard. He's pretty cute though.

Anyways, have fun.

Ow! My foot hurts

I absolutely hate going to the doctor. You sit in a tiny room listening to nurses talk smack about patients through what should be a thicker door while you wait an extra 20-30 minutes to see the nurse and another 20 minutes to see the person with whom you actually made the appointment. Every doctor's office I have been to is the exact same, down to the fake walnut cabinets full of swabs and latex gloves. The minute I sit in an examination room (I decided to not abbreviate to appease Shelly), I can feel my blood pressure soar. I always feel better psychosomatically to give myself a rationale to escape the poking and prodding that is sure to come.

Today I visited the doctor because I am experiencing foot pain. I have had problems walking for a couple of days now. It is more than likely tendonitis, but could be due to the fact that they found an extra bone in my foot. Who knows? The good news is that it is unlikely a stress fracture which would have prevented me from running my race in January. Nevertheless, my feet are still cold from my visit and my blood pressure is still not back to normal. I got prescriptions for pills and creams and have to ice my foot 3 times a day. Hopefully that will help.

A little TLC is in order, so Jeremy and I are going on a voting date. I figure I will still be on edge until they announce the new president. Go America!

Meatbert's Bad Mood Elixir

If you are in a bad mood, follow these simple instructions:

First, join these people.

Add a grill full of chicken fajitas, some cold beer, and this team.

Kick a giant red ball around a field and loosely follow the softball rules. Hit a homerun, watch a teammate break a tendon in her middle finger, and lose with grace to good people.

If you follow these simple instructions, a good mood is sure to follow!

Sadly, this week is the last for the fall kickball season (unless we pull off some miracle and make the playoffs).

Jeremy and I joined kickball a few years ago and we both just love it. We have met so many good people and lost so many games (we are not very good). I'm counting the weeks until spring when we can play again.

We Rock! Or rather Happy B-day to me.

As I grow older, I become more and more fascinated with video games. When Jeremy bought his Playstation 2, I thought it was a bit juvenile, but a few months ago I almost bought a Wii. I think it looks like the coolest thing ever and I can imagine myself spending endless hours playing at home. Who doesn't have that kind of time?

My beloved, sensing my growing immaturity, got me the best birthday present ever. Rock Band! It really does rock! Jeremy shreds the guitar while I pound on drums and we giggle the entire time.

Last night a friend of ours stayed here while in town on business. I wondered how we would get him to agree to play until he saw the drums and immediately lit up. Thus, a true band was born. The three of us rotated instruments--2 songs on each instrument (guitar, drums, and vocals).

Our friend has a deep, resonating voice and when he stays here, his timbre echoes through the walls. He uses a lot of "dudes" in his vocabulary and he talks to you as loud as he would if you were across a football field from him. His singing was the exact opposite...a slight whisper with a high pitch that you would expect from an 8 year old girl named Mary Alice. When I first heard him sing, I laughed so hard that the drumstick fell out of my hand and we all got booed off the stage.

If you ever want to have the most fun ever, call me up and we'll jam! I think this is a true instance of a gift that keeps giving. Rock on, my friends.

Oh My Gato, Numero Tres

Back by popular demand (not really).......

My cat loves my closet. It is full of things she adores and I don't allow her to go in there so it is forbidden fruit. Every chance she gets she tries to nose her way in there, every time she does I yell at her in a way that makes my throat hurt (I'm trying to scare her away from there). Today when I was unpacking from my trip(s), she snuck in. I was in a time crunch and not at all in the mood to fight, so I let her nap by my slippers.

I had a nagging feeling when I left for work this afternoon. Did I forget to turn the iron off? No, my clothes are definitely wrinkled....Hmmm.....

I arrived at work and was immediately distracted by a giant, gaping hole in front of the restaurant (last week the water main busted and we have had problems since). I sat down to a meeting and thought, "oh shit." I was pretty sure at that time that I had locked her in. I made a mental note to call either Jeremy or the girl who watched her last week to ask if either could liberate Luckbert. But someone came around the corner and asked me where to find the mayo and I forgot all about it.

It was not until about 5 minutes ago that I remembered. I have yet to survey the damage and see what she deemed worthy of a litter box: Jeremy sleeping and I don't want to disturb him. I must say I am pretty scared because clothes are strewn EVERYWHERE in there, and they are my favorites to boot.

Upon further consideration I now realize the water main story would have been so much more entertaining. Unfortunately for you, the reader, too much of my energy was spent writing about my stupid cat. Sorry you have to bear the burden of my refusal to waste 5 minutes erasing my hard work. Look on the bright side, maybe my cat will be traumatized by this whole experience and never want to go in my closet again.

We're BAAAAACK!

So, the week-long trip, which I like to call the visit to LaLa Land, is over.

The first leg brought us to Port Aransas, TX where gas is $2.40 a gallon and the sun shines even in October. I learned that in order to see the true open road you must drive on highways that do not contain the word "interstate." I thought I had seen most of Texas in all its splendor. Let me tell you , you have not seen Americana until you pass through towns like Panna Maria, Texas--ghost towns that have no apparent economy but still 5 stoplights and 35mph speed limits.

It was nice to relax with good people on the beach.

The second leg? Not so relaxing but equally fun. Las Vegas! I absolutely love that place. Where else can you walk around the street at 6am with a beer in hand, laughing at the joggers?

We went with my parents and my cousin and his wife who we get along with great. Jeremy lost his ass, but after an all-nighter I wound up breaking even. My birthday passed and I feel younger than I have in a while. I know I keep promising it, but maybe pictures later.....

hello

I've been so busy lately that I haven't found time to do anything remotely blog-worthy. As you know, I have been working and running a lot. Also every Wednesday night I play kickball...more to come about that later.... Incidentally, we won our game this evening.

Anyways, with all this going on, I have decided to take a week long vacation. I am going 2 places--the beach and Las Vegas.

It doesn't seem as if I will have time to write before I leave, so farewell and I will see you next week!

Team in Training Update

I've just done some accounting and in 2 weeks, I have raised $2,500! Some of the donations are from checks mailed to my house and will post in a few days. Don't forget to visit my website to check on my progress.

The runs are going well...getting better everyday. This week starts a 5 run a week schedule and it will be interesting to see how I fit that in my busy days.

Thanks to all who have donated!

Frosty!

I can't imagine anything better after a long day at work than a nice, frosty beer, which is what I quickly retrieved after work today. To make things even better, my very favorite movie in the whole wide world is on television. That's right, ladies and gentlemen, ANNIE!

Who doesn't adore a little red-headed orphan?

Mi Hermana

Anyone who knows the tiniest little bit about me knows how much I adore my sister. I can't even begin to put into words what our relationship is and today, she made me mist up a little bit with her blog post today.

Thanks, sistery-sister!

And by the way, happy October!

To my family, RABBIT RABBIT RABBIT!

My Vow

This will be the only day I blog without having much to say. I got up and ran 6 miles this morning. It is very pretty outside and not too hot. We ran in an older neighborhood that has a mixture of very old houses and ones that are brand new--their owners razed the old houses to build some very interesting ones. It made for nice scenery.

I am obviously not very good at writing when I have nothing to say. IT BEGS THE QUESTION... How do people do it?

Oh My Gato, Part Deux

A while back, I checked my mail to find a flyer of a missing cat from the neighborhood. There are always publications of this sort as I live in the Hill Country, rife with predators who enjoy feasting on felines. Any veteran cat owner in this area knows to never leave their cats out after dark or risk them getting eaten by a coyote or whatever else is hungry around here. Here is my version of the note, paraphrased so as to not risk plagiarism:

Hello. I am new to the neighborhood and my cat has been missing for 2 days. He refuses to wear a collar, so we don't make him. (Insert description of said cat here). He is very cute, and I know you have him, so give him back.

Say what? Here is my tip for whomever wrote that flyer. If you are missing your cat and pleading for the public's help in relocating him, it is probably not a good idea to accuse each and every neighbor in the area of stealing your pet. We all have our own pets and don't need your stupid cat, lady. I am so sure.

P.S. As I am writing this, my watch arrived!

Jog Blog!

I just ordered myself a new toy.

I got it at a discounted price and opted for next day delivery. It should be here tomorrow!

The Circle of Life

The other morning I had to arrive at work before the sun was up. When I pulled into my parking spot, something moving caught my eye. I thought it may be a possum or a raccoon, but it was the legend of the live armadillo, which in Texas is an oxymoron. In fact, I have lived in this state for 27 years and cannot remember ever seeing one. I scrambled for my phone to take a picture, but I was too late. Oh well.

This morning I was driving near my work and noticed something dead in the road. As you can probably guess, it was an armadillo, on its back with all four legs sticking straight up. I can't help but wonder if it is the same one I saw on Monday. I can only assume since armadillos are not the smartest of animals, there aren't very many of them left in the world. Whether the same or not, we can all mourn the loss of one less animal on our planet. RIP, Armie.

ACHOO!

The one downside of living in Austin is allergies. From about this time to mid-May there is much complaining of achy heads, clogged ears and runny noses. For the longest time, I was immune. The past year or so I have joined the masses in the perpetual nose run. This season started on Wednesday (can I blame the butterflies)?

It would only make sense to stay indoors where you are less susceptible to the allergens, but with the gorgeous weather and my commitment to run, I have found that near impossible. But I must admit that I feel horrible. Damn ragweed!

I have heard a tip that if you eat a tablespoon of local honey* a day, your allergies will be severely reduced. Apparently, since bees are pollinators, your body ingests the allergens therefore making you immune to them in the air. It seems far fetched, but if honey didn't make me want to wretch, I would totally try it.

*I heard a funny story about local honey: There is a co-op grocery store near the UT campus. One day sorority girls started shopping there for honey of all things--they are not the usual demographic for this store and the employees were curious as to why the sudden surge of bowheads. Once asked, one girl answered, "I heard this was the place to get lo-cal honey. I didn't realize it was so fattening." I guess they couldn't figure out why their local grocery store didn't sell the less fat option. Ha!

Butterflies

I went to San Antonio on Wednesday to see a middle school football game. It was hilarious! Driving in to the city, I started to see lots of monarch butterflies. They were distracting. I would look at one and think how beautiful it was until smack! I hit it with my windshield. This kept happening and it was making me uneasy. The further into the city I went, the more butterflies were around for me to accidentally murder.

It turns out that monarch butterflies are migratory. They spend the winters in Mexico and the summers in San Antonio (not really but you wouldn't know it by how many were flying around). I guess with the first sign of it cooling down they high tail it out of the country.

This is my teaching lesson to you. If you too love butterflies, then stay away from San Antonio for the next couple of days so you don't kill 100 like me. But maybe you should go because it is sort of magical to see them fly around, ready for winter vacation.

This Morning

I was up this morning for my 5:45 run. I have been doing this run for the past couple of weeks, but this one was different. It was chilly! I had to go back inside and put on a sweatshirt. It took a couple of laps to take it off.

Even better than the chill in the air was the sunrise. It was colorful and beautiful--full of purple, orange, red and blue. It is always so nice to feel accomplished before the sun is even up.

Today is Day #2 of my rest from work. I'm having lunch with a friend from Dallas and I may go to San Antonio to see Jeremy's nephew, Jacob's first middle school football game. He is almost 13 and cute as can be and probably very excited about tackling someone. Go Team!

Ahhhh...Contentment!

For the first time in a long time, I have nothing to do! I have many things that I can do, but today, I have nowhere to be. Anything I do today is my choice. That is a great feeling after the two weeks that I have gone through. It seems I have done nothing but work and run since my return from San Francisco. Even my "days off" have been spent in some meeting or another.

So what am I doing? Right now, I am sitting on the couch with the windows open. I am blogging while listening to birds and the distant hum of a leaf blower. I may or may not decide to take a cat nap. Who knows?

It's nice to have choices.

I got Iked

Okay. So it seems the only thing people are able to talk about lataely is Hurricane Ike. Granted, it was quite a storm, but the ability of people to overreact never ceases to amaze me. By Thursday most weather models had the track of Ike steering away from Austin, and by Friday morning, it became clear that we would not even see a drop of rain. Not even a drop! In fact, as far as Austin goes, it was named Hurricane Psych.

That didn't stop people around here from buying generators, stocking up on food, canceling work, and closing up shop all around town. I happen to work in a restaurant. The only time we shut down due to weather is when ice fell on the city, rendering it too slippery to drive. Many of my sister stores still opened their doors, but my particular shop resides at the corner where most ice-related incidents happen so no one in the neighborhood was out that day. It was not cost effective to open our doors.

Long story short, we were going to open regardless of Ike. I can't even begin to describe to you what thousands of electricity-less people visiting friends and family in the city does to business (my area didn't see as many buses of evacuees but people who wanted to get the heck out of dodge). We were ridiculously crazy and saw record sales all weekend. So, we got Iked!

I should say that my thoughts go out to all those affected by this monster storm. I know it is a little selfish to speak of my gain through million's hard times. Best to you and yours.

To Ike or not to Ike

Joolie and I are debating whether or not Ike will bring us rain. I am of the school that if some giant hurricane hits anywhere near our area it will bring rain, dry side or not. Joolie is cursing the hurricane for potentially allowing us to sustain our drought. Don't get me wrong...we don't want damange, just rain. We are thirsty. Gustav brought us not even a drop. I wish the best to those whose areas are affected by Ike, and I wish our area at least an inch of rain. Do you think we'll get a f-ing drop or not?

A Sign of the Times

Jeremy and I have a phone line at home that we rarely ever use. To me, it seems its sole purpose is to aid me when I cannot locate my cell phone. The only people who have the number are telemarketers. No, we don't want to save money on car insurance. Yes, Jeremy has already consolidated his student loans. The only success of our land line is to cost us $40 or so a month.

We had been tossing around the idea of getting rid of it. Recently, Jeremy came to me and told me he was just going to do it. What had he been waiting for? He sat down, dialed the 800 number, had a quick conversation, and hung up the phone.

I was not expecting to hear that he had been persuaded to keep the line. The operator asked him what he would do if he needed to call 911 but his cell phone battery was dead. Wouldn't that be the moment of ultimate regret? Was he really willing to put us in that situation? He answered no, cut our bill in half, and kept the line. I am quite certain the operator got some retention bonus.

It makes me wonder... If both of our cell phone batteries were dead, it is likely our cordless phones would be dead as well as I have a genetic deficiency that prohibits me from putting a cordless phone back on the cradle. But in all honesty, keeping the land line makes me happy. My cell phone often finds its way into couch crevices and under pillows, so it is worth $20 a month to save me about 30 minutes a week trying to locate that damn thing.

Hardee-har-har

Q: What do you do if attacked by a group of clowns?

A: Go for the juggler.

Treadmills=trouble

I am not trying to turn this into a jog-blog, but running every other day is really consuming my life. It's just new and I need to get used to the new lifestyle (I went to bed at 2am and was up at 6:30 to run 3 miles).

Last week I became aware of my lack of equipment--shoes especially. I had heard of this store on the up and coming East Downtown Austin that will basically custom fit shoes for you. Here is what happened when I went in:

The saleslady had me bend my knees and curl my toes to look at leg alignment. She then brought out 3 pair of shoes she thought would fit me. As I tried on each pair, I went to a treadmill where my feet were videotaped to make sure the shoes would support my stride. I then watched my duck-like stride in slo-mo.

The first pair fit just fine, but my feet didn't sing when I donned them. The second pair was super cute and fit fine and I was about to leave with them, but my nagging conscience told me to try the third pair. As the saleslady opened the box, I saw the shoes in their ugly splendor. I tried them on and they felt wonderful! But did I mention they were ugly? I let the treadmill make the decision.

Now, I don't go to gyms. I can tell you I can count on one hand the number of times I have been on a treadmill. Unfortunately, I fell off said treadmill, dodging injury by catching myself on the hand rails and kicking my feet out of danger's way. Even more unfortunate was the fact there was a line for the shoe thingy and my sister was there to chant, "Replay! Replay!"
The only thing that saved me was the saleslady had no sense of humor and therefore no desire to watch the replay of my near death.

So what else was there to do? Buy the UGLY shoes and try to save as much dignity as possible.

i am so sure

Note to self:

Make sure your ipod is charged before going jogging so you won't have to put silent earbuds on and pretend to rock out so no one knows you have no music to hear. It's just good sense.

I heart SF

I have been promising a blog about San Francisco....

We had a great time, of course--The weather was hot (lingering around 90) so I didn't get the benefit of cold weather. I was initially upset because after all the 100 degree days we've had here, I longed to wear a jacket. It turns out I was lucky.

We spent the first night in San Fran at a Giant's game. The park there is beautiful, sitting right on the water. They offer good food and good beer. It is more like an old-school park with dark red brick and the bullpen on the field. The game was good and the company was interesting (we went with one of Jeremy's office mates and the District Attorney for a small county in East Texas who had conservative views but was very nice). The night turned late and we were over served (my dad's favorite expression of being schnockered).

The following day I had a hard time getting out of the hotel room. I had one of the worst hangovers in the history of man and I couldn't figure out how I would see such a cool city with a pounding head. As I was contemplating the perfect plan to see everything with little to no physical effort, I looked across the street and saw a double decker tour bus. Perfect! I climbed aboard. The actual tour probably deserves a blog post of its own as its passengers heard all about the social reasons for homelessness and prostitution and the story line of the movie "The Pursuit of Happyness" 3! times. There was a time that I was laughing so hard I thought I would pee my pants, but all the sights were saw and I didn't have to walk a step to see them. It was sunny and clear and beautiful outside and when our bus drove across the Golden Gate Bridge, we had a breathtaking view of the city from the other side.

I took some amazing pictures, but unfortunately our main computer is feeling under the weather and I am unable to post them. When all was said and done, I gave San Francisco an A+ and hope to plan another jaunt there soon.

Don't swim in the kiddie pool

This morning I got up at the hour of 5:30 to go to a marathon train. It was a cool, breezy morning and I watched the sun rise while getting good exercise. I am up early drinking good coffee and I thought, what better time to blog?

I have decided that I really dislike the culture of children. Don't get me wrong, I love children but I abhor words like "sippie cup" and "ouchless." I equally dislike the idea that just because a person has decided to procreate, she (and sometimes even he) gets special treatment in the world. Take this story for instance:

Jeremy and I were at the airport, about to depart for San Francisco. We usually walk with purpose and try hard to not get in any one's way, but for some reason, we paused at the entrance to security (keep in mind that the Austin airport is seldom busy and has never taken more than 20 minutes to get through to the gate). There was a family with 2 small children right behind us and here was our exchange:

Father: BEEP BEEP! (in Jill's ear)
Jill: Say huh?
Father: Uh, we are trying to catch a flight and we are in a hurry.
(Jill gives an ugly look)
Jeremy (not hearing the beep beep part): Sure, man, go ahead. We actually planned our trip to get us to the airport a little early like responsible adults.
Father: Well, it's just that we have CHILDREN.

Jeremy is such a nicer person than I. Because I think if you have children, you should let people ahead of you. Seriously, we have IDs and 2 carry on bags. You have 2 strollers, breast milk that needs testing, etc. In Jeremy's defense, he did not hear the grown man beep in my ear but had he, he surely would have told the man where to shove his stroller. He was appalled once he found out what really had happened.

The zinger was that we were sitting at our gate before those people were even cleared for security. At least airports have multiple lines.

It makes me nervous that if I ever do have children, my peers will behave in such a manner and my vocabulary will no longer be adult, but suited for someone who can't even form sentences.

More about the San Fran trip later(and hopefully pictures, too!)

Just a note

I am sitting at my lazy boy while watching the Olympics. Jeremy finally got a wireless browser for his laptop and I could not be happier.

So an update: I did go my requisite 33 minutes and it hurts. My body is tired and I cannot seem to eat enough right now. It's gonna really hurt tomorrow.

I am sad the Olympics are over but I must admit that they were ruining my life. So I guess it is back to normal for me, whatever that is.

I am going to San Francisco this week for pretty much a day. Can't wait to feel 55 degrees.

I just decided this blog is boring and I am going to end it immediately.

Goodnight.

Run, run, run

I have a training schedule that I am pretty much contractually obligated to follow. Day 1 was 3 miles (running or briskly walking). I did it with much less hurt than I thought I could.

The problem is today I am supposed to do 3.3 miles or 33 minutes, whichever comes first. I am totally procrastinating it as I am a bit sore and very tired. It might also rain.

This would explain why I am blogging today instead of waiting for my normal 16 day interval to pass.

My Restaurant is Classy

I work at a restaurant that has provided me with a lifetime of amusing stories (especially after I have had a few). So far, these are the Hall of Famers...not so much with the amusing part, but more of an ick-factor. I can't believe I have known these people!

Patron #1 was busted with the largest cache of privately owned kiddy porn EVER. As a successful lawyer, you have to wonder why he spent so many days at a family friendly joint on his laptop for hours at end. To his credit, he did always have his back to the windows where you could see children running around.

We did get to see Patron #1 planning his defense with a table full of lawyers after he had been bailed out. At that time, he remained shy and very careful to not show anyone his face. Quite creepy, as it is my job to always be nice to paying customers. I never followed up in the news, but I am quite positive he got sent away for a very long time.

My first run-in with Patron #2 happened the night he told me he wanted to use my body as a plate for his dessert. I vomited in my mouth. Since that evening, I have been very careful to only politely nod at him when he is drinking. He has always given me the creep vibe and it has been affirmed by his new M.O. Porn on his laptop. That is right, ladies and gentlemen, it has been reported that when he sees cute girls at the bar, he immediately turns his laptop (sound on!) to pornographic websites.

What gets me most about this situation is this: Does he really think girls in their late 20's are going to be impressed by a disgusting older man watching porn in a public place. I try to imagine if I were the girls and that happened when I was at happy hour. Would I really turn to my friend and comment on how hot the 40 something man is while listening to, "that's right, give me some more.."? Ooh, I thought he was okay looking, but now that he is watching porn, he is soooo hot! Uh, no. What is his display to accomplish?

I am not 100% sure, but I swear I saw his mug shot on the news the other day for arrest in connection with sexual assault. I can't tell because no one looks the same in flourescent lit prison orange as they do in the lovely lights at my work. We'll have to see if he is back soon or not. I really hope not, because as he has not yet been caught in the act by staff, there is no solid proof. I feel that I am too old to have the "Porn is for home" conversation with anyone, especially a creepy old customer.

Purple is the new Black

I have decided to train to run a 1/2 marathon for the Team in Training fundraiser the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society holds all over. 13.1 miles seems pretty steep right now, especially since currently I don't think I can run even 1/4 mile. It will be interesting! Thanks to all who voted about whether or not I should do it. 1 for yes and 1 for no.

I am sure all you in Blogville will hear about my ventures in running and if you are ever interested about my fundraising progress, you can visit
http://pages.teamintraining.org/ctx/pfchangs09/jbracken

As the days go by, hopefully this website will get cooler and cooler, that is if I am not too busy running.

Wish me luck!

Update

If your local grocery store does not have any ripe bananas, under no circumstances should you instead purchase "bull" bananas next to the plaintains. Nothing you could purchase could substitute for taste in a blueberry banana muffin, especially when the only sweet part is the banana.

The muffins were not so good. Oh well.

Betty Crocker has nothing on me

Just so you know, I am currently baking. That is right. Unfortunately, I am a terrible baker. I cannot measure ingredients correctly due to spacial issues and impatience, but I love to bake just so my house smells warm and delicious.

It is my boss's birthday tomorrow and we sit in on a recurring Tuesday breakfast meeting, so I figured I would bake. Now that I think about it, it seems a little brown-nose-ish and totally not my style, but I like my boss and I hope he likes the blueberry banana muffins I baked in his honor.

The other day

I am a recovering beauty products junkie. As such, I try hard to stay away from stores specializing in the art of beauty. I rarely allow myself to walk by the area at grocery stores unless I need something.

The other day Jeremy and I went to Best Buy, both in the mood to spend some of our hard-earned money. I personally wanted a Wii (they were out) and Jeremy actually needed quite a few things. After about 20 minutes and no game console to speak of, I decided to get out of there and go next door to Ulta, a beauty store mecca. Jeremy was to meet me over there as soon as he was finished with his purchases.

Big mistake! I had what turned out to be an unlimited amount of time of unsupervised shopping. I went for shampoo and conditioner and ended up spending an embarrassing amount of money. The real zinger is they packed my objects into a teeny-tiny bag, making me feel all the more guilty about my total.

I vow to never go into that store without my sister, who is my spending conscience.

Grocery Store Drama!

...I left the store quite annoyed, as you have already read. But nothing was more annoying than the dill weed who honked at the very nice man who stood in front of me in line. Mr. Dill was impatient with Mr. Nice for walking across the pedestrian walk way and into the parking lot. I suppose Mr. Nice was using precious seconds of Mr. Dill's time. I assume most people drive into a grocery store parking lot expecting people to walk in the middle of the drive ways and practice the calming skills given to him at birth. Not Mr. Dill.

Honking was not enough for him, he had to have words with Mr. Nice (the pair happened to be parked next to one another). I watched, rooting Mr. Nice on. Mr. Nice was not having the fact that some jack ass was yelling at him for no reason and it was interesting to see his face go from a very pleasant expression to a reddening madness.

I thought for sure the incident would end in some punch or slap, but instead Mr. Dill started walking away at which time I jumped in my car, hoping for the opportunity to honk at him. That would have taught him, right? I didn't time it well, so I just honked. When he looked my way, I pointed at him and laughed.

The most amusing part of the parking lot drama is that Mr. Dill waited outside by the door and watched his car to make sure Mr. Nice didn't key it or slash his tires. I can only assume that has happened to him before. Quite honestly, he probably deserved it.

Why I hate to grocery shop

I have lived in the same place for about 5 years, and as a result, I know the aisles of all three grocery stores in my neighborhood by heart. I have the proven ability to zip in and out of these stores with no problems. I even use the three stores for different things-- the Randall's by my house is for quick stops, the HEB on my side of the highway is for big trips and the other HEB is for more refined meals as they have a larger variety.

Last week I had to work a considerable heavier schedule than normal. My brain was scrambled and my body was tired. All that was standing between my 12 hour shift and home was a bag of cat food. So I stopped at the Randall's, proceeded immediately to aisle 6 aka "Pet Place", walked the requisite 12 paces to get to Luckberts brand of food, and found evaporated milk. Huh?

It turns out that Randall's is doing a drastic remodel. Aisle 6 is still named "Pet Place" but not for long. This was too much for me to handle. I was too tired to figure it out--I actually stood in the middle of the grocery store for a good five minutes trying to figure out where I was going. I felt very stupid and disoriented, but it felt good to laugh at myself.

Today I needed just a few things for dinner and to do some light shopping, so I chose to drive the extra mile to grocery store #2, located smack-dab in the middle of a very established neighborhood. I can only imagine its patrons have shopped there for as long as it has been open, which I think is around 20 years. It was the rush hour for grocery stores (around 6pm) and there were more people than usual for this time of day. Everything seemed normal until I realized every other aisle was empty. Surely the recession hasn't gotten this bad, right? No, it is another remodel. This time I had much less patience for it because no one knew where to find anything. Everyone was pushing his cart in circles it seems. I couldn't even locate the bread aisle, lost my patience, so I got the heck out of there!

For goodness sakes!

Hello. I didn't realize how long it had been since I blogged, but my fans keep a running tally. My dad was able to tell me the exact date and time I last blogged. What have we been up to?

Nothing.

Working, hanging out with my parents, cleaning bathrooms, trying to fix a mini-crash on our computer.......Pretty boring stuff (except the parental visit) which is why I haven't blogged in a while.

We are currently hosting friends from Orlando, so maybe they can aid in a blog-worthy story.

I guess stay tuned, or at least check back in August!

Welcome Home, J-dog aka Meat

Jeremy is home! Finally I have someone to pester. Take this anecdote, for example:

Sunday night 8pm-ish...

Jill: Let's go for a walk.
Jeremy: I don't really want to. I am still very full from my wonderful Mexican lunch.
Jill: But....
Jeremy: Please, let's just sit here and watch TV.
Jill: (starting to pout) While you were gone, I always noticed couples holding hands walking around the neighborhood around this time and it made me miss you and it would mean so much to me for us to go on a walk blah, blah, blah, blah...
Jeremy: Fine, we can go on a walk if that is what will make you happy (he's that kind of guy).

Jill and Jeremy change clothes and step outside.

Jeremy: It looks like it is going to rain. In fact, I just felt some raindrops on my head.
Jill: It's not going to rain. You obviously haven't been in Texas for a while. Those clouds are going to pass. I know everything, especially about barometric pressure.
Jeremy: Well, if you say so. Let's go.

The couple begins to walk while the darker clouds move in.

Jill: It is a good thing we left when we did so we can have a nice walk and beat the rain.
Jeremy: I think it is raining harder, but if you want, we'll keep going.

Jill and Jeremy walk for a quarter of a mile...

Jill: This sucks, it's kind of raining hard now, let's turn around.
Jeremy clears his throat without having to say, "I told you so."

The wetter the couple got, the more amused Jill became. Jeremy just kept giving her a look that expressed his frustration of being soaked to the skivvies while not even wanted to go out in the first place.

It was nice to have the rain, but maybe not in the middle of the walk. I even tried to jump in a puddle but instead fell on my butt. This made me laugh hard.

Long story short: Jeremy is a nice guy who will go on a walk with me to make me happy even though he knew it would rain and that we would get soaked. There is no better way I could show him I loved him than making him stand in the deluge that blessed Austin on Sunday. Welcome home, baby!

Gotta love Austin

Interesting things I have seen over the past month while driving my car in the ATX (that's what all the cool kids call Austin):

1. An 80 year old Chinese man doing high kicks while simultaneously walking.

2. A middle aged man running down the highway carrying a lit torch a la the Olympics.

3. A man riding his bike dressed as Jesus while his bits hung out.

I'm so lame

The only good thing I have noticed about Jeremy moving 1500 miles away is that I can watch whatever I please on TV. Take Saturday for instance-- I was excited to find the women's Olympic trials were on NBC. This for me can make any weekend night at home worth not being out, but add Bela Karolyi as a sports analyst to the equation and forget about it! His thick Romano-English (yes I made that up) left co-analyst Bob Costas and the entire viewing community wondering what the hell he was saying. It was quite amusing to watch Costas squirm, thinking of how he was going to respond to such jibber-jabber. Bob's response? "Hmmm. That's an interesting perspective." If only there were live subtitles. That made me giggle.

After my amusement of gymnastics had waned, I started flipping the channels and lucky for me, I found a show about my all-time favorite psychopath, Laura Hall. For those of you not familiar with Ms. Hall, she is the girl who helped Colton Pitonyack dispose of a UT college girl's body and flee to Mexico. When expedited back to the US and asked why she helped a man suspected of murder, she replied, "that's how I roll." It seems the only people who don't believe she looks guilty are Laura Hall and her lawyer, who allowed this interview. It was less an interview than the ramblings of a crazy girl. Her story has changed no less than five times and she had to tap dance around her alibi all the while exhaling like a lunatic.

***Note: I understand it is sad that a girl was murdered, but what amuses me about the situation are the circumstances around the cover-up. Colton and Laura are getting exactly what they deserve and that is why I am amused.

Anyways, I am glad that Jeremy is coming back home for good...I can expect to watch the Astros and shows about WWII and rid myself of trash TV forever!

"oh my gato!"

It's a sad state of affairs when your parents post 4 blog entries to your one. Trust me on this one.

Speaking of gatos...my cat is the fattest you could imagine. I think she is twenty pounds now. This is a very boring and stupid thing to blog about, so I will not anymore. I do have to mention that I felt obligated to bring up my cat after the title so I did. Get over it!

It's been too long

Much to the dismay of my family, I do not blog very often. I blame it on the heat in my computer room. It is so hot in here that I am using it to justify getting a laptop. I feel if I can type while sitting in relative coolness I will blog much more often. I do need to keep the three people that read my blog happy.

So here is my blog-worthy story:

A couple of weeks ago I found a red-eared turtle in my driveway. We live next to a creek and he had apparently gotten lost. I don't know, maybe his parents made him mad so he ran away from home. I took a minute and said "hello" and went on my merry way. Later that day I told Jeremy about my encounter and he made me feel like by not putting him back in the creek, I was sending him to his impending fate--death by car. I thought if I had the chance to do it again I would surely save the rare turtle.

Lo and behold, the next day there he was in my driveway again! I knew my fate was to save him and the only thing standing in my way was my fear of picking him up. I decided to grow a pair and just do it. I crouched down and moved my hand to pick him up but he sensed me and started running...pretty fast for a turtle. I guess he felt playful because we played a game of cat and mouse (or rather chicken and turtle) for a good five minutes. Every time I had my hand in place to pick him up, he would run away. It was all amusing until he turned the tables and started chasing me. It was at that point I decided I am a city girl and have no business around wild organisms. If this turtle didn't want my help, I didn't want to ruin my manicure to try. If this story seems pathetic to you, it will seem so much more when you see the turtle I was against:

It's true that he was no bigger than a half dollar in diameter. I am a wimp!

DC stories

Alrighty.... As we all know, Jerome is not big on blogging. I love to read them, mind you, its just that I'm not one to babble on about the mindless happenings of my boring days (unless Ive had a few, and that doesn't count). However, I promised my beloved Jillbert I would blog now and then, since she took the effort to create this lovely site. So here goes...

Since Im in DC, I try to take advantage of the unique opportunities living in this city provides. A few months ago, I saw the Pope and the Prez. You are all blessed (your welcome). I just recently visited Gettysburg, and yesterday I decided to go to book signing at Politics and Prose (famous DC bookstore) for everyone's favorite snitch Scott McClellan. Now, keep in mind Im not a huge fan of his or anything, but I am curious to read his book so I figured why not. Unfortunately, like every book signing, there was a question and answer session before we got to meet him. Cue the crazy woman with an attitude and towel-looking thing wrapped around her head.

Said crazy woman proceeded on a long-winded, unintelligible diatribe basically describing how Bush is the devil, and how she is an expert b/c she served as a clinician (whatever the term implies) for the Army. This starts the predictable minor applause simply by its anti-Bush flavor, to which McClellan replies "Im sorry...is there a question?" Reply - "Yes...how do you feel about that?" "Im not even sure what it is that I'm supposed to respond to, so Im not going to respond." The next question, from a self-professed conspiracy theorist who looked all of 12 years old, asked McClellan if he thought the Bush administration would pull some shenanigans in the upcoming election in order to elect McCain, who would be sort of the puppet of the Bush family. "Uhhh...No. Next question." Last question was also brilliant - "Do you feel guilty for forming the policies that helped to ruin our nation?" Thus endeth the questioning.

Again, its not that I like McClellan or Bush, but this man is here to talk about his book and all people can think to do is treat him like he is still working in the administration. Further, I don't think they realize what his job was - he didn't create any policy, he was just a glorified mouthpiece. So I would like to thank the brain trust that represented the great city of DC last night for their wonderfully not-so-well-thought-out questions. I feel enlightened. Now, if you will excuse me, I need to change the bandages on my head so I can pound it against the wall some more.

Joolie named her cat

She asked me not to announce the name on her blog, but please check hers for the grand announcement. PS have a nice day.

AHHHHHHHH!

There is a big, giant wasp in my garage. Every fifteen minutes I open the door to let him out but he keeps coming back. I just wish he would go away so I can do my laundry.

I also wish my sister would come by to get her wedding present since I won't be able to deliver it until next week. I can't wait to give it to her!

It's my sisters bday!

In just a few hours, my beloved sister turns 30ish. ''''''''''''''''''''''''' All those apostrophes (or atrocities as I refer to them) are in her honor. I hate using those devil signs.

Anyways, Joolie is a very nice person who googles doctors with me and always gives me beer when I visit her.

I wish her one of the best b-days ever! I dont mind dashes or hyphens.

I am blogging in the dark on a laptop.

I'm All-American!

The other night, I had the opportunity to go to a baseball game. One of my vendors from work offered us his company's suite filled with food and beer. I must say a good time was had by all. It was just sixty degrees, the game was good, and the crowd got to witness a player from the opposing team get ejected by demonstratively arguing a call. Mind you I was far away, but could see the F-word more than any other coming from his mouth. We cheered him on and then laughed at his walk of shame to the clubhouse.

The funniest part of the evening came when the game was over. On certain evenings the team sells baseballs for $1 marked with a number. When the game is over, those who bought a baseball can stand in the front row and try to throw the ball into a large trash can placed at second base. If you get it in you split $1000 with whomever happens to make it also. All the money goes to charity. My friends and I could not pass up the opportunity.

I played softball for about 10 years. My favorite position was third base because I had an incredible knack for throwing out runners at first. I did not think I would make the trash can, but I certainly thought I would make it further than this:

Yes, the ball circled is mine. By my calculations only three other people threw worse than me (and there were an incredible number of children there for a school night). As soon as the ball left my hands I knew it was a crappy throw, so I put my head down and ran into the crowd so no one could recognize me. My friends laughed at me and then we left. It was a great night.

Adventures in Lawnmowing

When I was twelve or so, my dad decided he could get us to mow the lawn by offering $20 for the service. My sister took him up a couple of times and I was jealous of all the extra money she had. I decided it was my turn. My dad gave me a quick tutorial and I was on my way. I could barely handle the machine. Half way through the job, my dad's nerves could no longer take it so he paid me $10 and sent me pouting. I have not touched a lawnmower since. In fact, until today I could not even work one.

Fast forward 18 years...

Before Jeremy left I realized that I would eventually need someone to mow my lawn. Luckily, I did a favor for a friend who agreed to mow my lawn once in return. Unluckily, I had to cash in said favor, voiding the chore.

I woke up this morning with the realization that my poor lawn could not go one more day without being mowed so I went to my work (today is my day off) and tried to bribe some of my employees $20 to come over and help me out. Nobody was available. It was at that point I realized I had to grow a pair and do it myself. This morning:

I run a restaurant. Surely I can work a lawnmower, right? Well, I am a bit timid so I called everyone I know to ask their advice on how to work one. I couldn't tell which way was forward and how to put the gas in. Don't even get me started on priming the engine! It took about fifteen tries to get this puppy started (I hid downhill so no passers-by could laugh at my efforts). Once I heard the roar of the engine, I felt powerful in a feminist "anything you can do I can do better," sort of way. End result:
Sadly, I am way more proud of myself than anyone should be.Mowing the lawn is something that elementary kids do (Jeremy's words, not mine). I lead such a charmed life.

Tulips!

Jeremy is a very nice fellow, although he makes fun of blogging quite often. He sent me tulips at work to remind me of our wonderful trip to DC. What a nice boy!

Blogs are lame...